Hone Your Social Graces: Mingling Etiquette

hello and welcome to the online presentation

University Career Services mingling etiquette Hone your social graces in this

presentation we will be covering conversation and mingling skills

reception etiquette basic dining etiquette as well as a few other professional

courtesies and will end with some tips on professional dress first up: receptions

for food receptions you should take them from the tray with utensils when offered

it is however acceptable to eat finger foods with your fingers

that's about all you should plan to do with your fingers don't lick them use a

napkin think ahead of time about how you're going to be juggling your food

drink and handshakes because when it comes down to it you should always

prioritize people over food don't drink to the tiny straw you may as well

envision it as simply as a stick it should be used for stirring plan to leave your

pre-dinner cocktail glass and any logical place other than taking it to

the dinner table

speaking of juggling food and drink while making your introductions you will

likely be offered dishes with notches or holding spots for your beverage and

you should most certainly not plan to bring your own plan to either hold the

glass with your finger while balancing the plate with your remaining three

Fingers as shown here with the paper plates and plastic cup or you should be

Balance the stemware between fingers hand with the palm facing up in using your thumb to

steady a plate resting on the rest of your outstretched hand there's this

keeps one hand at all times

introductions now as far as introductions remember you should always

take the initiative

don't fret too much if you have forgotten the name and certainly don't

try too hard to finesse it if this is not a social strong suit of yours

one way to get a personal touch to tell them that their face is familiar but

you just can’t place their name please remind you however this should only be

done if you have actually met the person before for the order of introduction to

preferential deference is of course age rank

senior members within the company followed by the introduction of outsiders

namely if you have a guest that would be the time for introducing yourself

there is the one minute commercial you may have heard it commonly referred to

here at UCS as the elevator pitch and then there is beyond the one minute with more in-depth

discussion when shaking hands be firm but not crushing you will not gain

extra respect by hurting them maintain eye contact when you're shaking their hand

for a couple of seconds if you are wearing a nametag wherever you are right

now

reach out your hand or visualize reaching out your hand and then imagine

from that handshake a line of sight moving all the way up your arm to about your

Shoulder a few inches inward of that is where the name tag should go because the other person should follow

from the junction handshake team name tag with their line of sight

Seamlessly this goes without saying but under 21 do not imbibe under any circumstances

if you wish not to drink at a company function or interview or other reception

it is perfectly fine to say thank you I don't drink have a plan going into

beforehand

be polite but firm it's fine to prepare an excuse I'm driving I'm feeling a bit

under the weather or simply leaving it as a matter of fact no for me tonight

no thank you I don't drink as long as you treat it as such

others will likely follow your lead those who don't are already raising red

flags for you

Being pleasant keeping it light and positive avoid complaining and avoid

discussing politics religion sex or money and in this part of the country

probably don't talk about college football during rivalry week or college

Basketball at all

Mingling will vary by culture so it pays to do your homework in the USA

Mingling generally has three distinct sections breaking the ice digging deeper

and exiting with style all three of which will be discussed in a little bit

more detail

listen as much as you speak and speak as much as you listen there's the old

saying that there is a difference between listening and simply waiting for

your turn to talk for breaking the ice the first part of mingling preparing news three

positive opening lines there's almost always food be prepared to talk about what

your favorite is and why talk about the host that guest or the VIP of the event

 talk about the event itself it is always a great idea to discuss the

surrounding city or region particularly if you're in an unfamiliar place and you

want to get some tips on sightseeing from the natives. weather while cliche is

always a go- to discuss slightly deeper topics ask open-ended questions a little

bit more than yes/no. only offer personal information that you are willing to

discuss talk about the industry organization beforehand

Prepare and use 3 continued questions talk about your interests or hobbies vacation

travel what you did last weekend plans for the upcoming holidays or break pop

culture there's generally that big show everybody's talking about know a little

bit about it hope other people in the room do too you are always welcome to

discussion professional interest if this is a work-related event exiting with style

when to exit the conversation is when

You have completed talk or if your group is dwindling this is one that awkward moment when everybody

stared at their hands make your exit make your excuses you need to circulate

go talk to someone else when to exit at the reception also when you have

completed the conversation if the entire group is dwindling this is not the time

to close down the venue don't make others feel awkward by waiting on you

We will now discuss a few basic dining etiquette rules remember these rules are intended to

make people feel comfortable and it is about 90% common sense when in doubt

watch and wait what others do. AT restaurants consider the price this is not the time

to display your affinity for fine lobster and steak defer to hosted if they intend

to serve as liaison between you and your server they may have a limited menu for

this particular event ordering food now these are the commonsensical once we

think about pasta or BBQ ribs but when they were really able to eat something

deep fried easily or handheld like a burger easily get something that you can

cut cleanly and pick up cleanly do not complain needlessly about your food or the

service if you paid for your own dinner tip at least 15% a good rule of thumb to

think about is that these are generally restaurant these companies go to

frequently so they more than likely have a relationship and are more than likely

gonna have some chatter at the table do thank your server relate meal

concerns to the server host now that's not complaining in this not being picky

the food allergies or the like eat in small bites so you can respond to conversation quickly and utilize the mingling

skills we discussed earlier while they were primarily designed for

receptions many of these will easily transfer table top

at the table do not talk with your mouth full chew with your mouth open

touch with your fingers this is not acceptable at the table do not use your napkin as a handkerchief this means no

nose blowing at the table

Do not mix or max food on your plate don't dunk your foods so maybe not that roast beef

sandwich with the au jus do not waive your utensils talking gesticulating wildly is doing no one on any favors particularly if you end up cutting table

mates don't speak for so long to someone far away but you make them out of the

way or sit quietly and don't reach for something someone else could more easily

Reach at the table don't eat quickly in big bulging bites I know you want to

finish quickly so that you can continue the conversation but this can also be

managed by a smaller bites and conversation in between don't season the food

before tasting this means not picking up and salting your plate right away that

would include hot sauce don't try or

asked to try someone else's food this is not a caring means sharing opportunity do not

rummaged through the plates for to the best portion that is particularly true of

family style dining restaurants just take one is closest to you are on the

top of the serving tray don't wear hats at the table don't push the plate

away we finished if any of you may have waited tables at any point in your

career history you're gonna want to fight the urge to stack the dishes to

make it easier for your server at the end of a meal do not perform personal grooming tasks

this is the perfect time to excuse yourself from the table if you need to check

and make sure there's no food in your teeth and most importantly don't worry about

anyone else's manners trust me they are more worried about their own without

having to do it for them if you notice that you're doing something differently

from all of the others quietly and without comment

it's always nice to make a show oh I did this wrong

look at me now I'm doing this right resist that urge just start doing it

right

If this is a dining interview hopefully you know in advance

hopefully this hasn't been sprung on you prepare as if it were an interview in the office

Follow your cues from the host or hostess absolutely no gift is required for

business dining interview and please remember that this is an interview

Regardless of how casual dining environment maybe

technology turn off telephones weren't in a professional setting

absolutely cannot due to life-or-death circumstances and then explain why in

advance no phones also means no text messaging and emailing last few slides

will include some business attire for professional interview and business

casual here are some suggestions for ladies and here's some suggestions for

our gentleman remember that most of these slides exist on the University

Career Services website and they are frequently on display in the kiosk in

our office if you're here for an appointment or for drop in here is

business casual attire for ladies and again some business casual attire suggestions for

gentlemen finally please remember that politeness and consideration for others

it's like investing pennies and getting dollars back Here is our pertinent social media and contact

info thank you for your time